I think it's safe to say that Americans have many perceptions of Ireland: castles, leprechauns, Celtic crosses, Guinness, potatoes, words with too many vowels, etc. So before I left, I was prone to getting all sorts of opinions: "The countryside is so beautiful!" or "The Guinness tastes so much better!" or "The people are so nice!"
Understandably I was expecting to enter a land of friendly if not inebriated people, sheep, and magical faeries and rainbows (which might just be a side-effect of all the Guinness).
While most everyone's words about Ireland were positive and assured me I'd have a wonderful time, I did get one warning: Irish food sucks.
Could it be? I knew English food had a reputation as being pretty grim--puddings that have nothing to do with Bill Cosby do not intrigue me in the least--but I didn't know much about Irish food.
Except for the Potato (or 'podado' if you're a local).
The Irish Potato Famine--yes, we know. Irish people eat a lot of potatoes, the reasons for which I have already discussed at length in an essay and really don't want to expound again.
But what else do they eat?
Here's a list of ten Irish foods, traditional and non-traditional, delicious and disgusting, that I've discovered over the past few months.
1. Guinness- This deserves to be classified as a food by itself, mostly because it's heavy enough to count as a meal. Foreigners taking their first sip of the stout are likely to make the 'ew' face--wrinkled nose, squinty eyes, puckered mouth that seems to say 'did I just drink that?' Yes, you did. And it's the lifeblood of the Irish, so drink up, lads. Barley is one of the major grains of Ireland, and it's heavily roasted to give Guinness that signature taste. Is fish used in it? Maybe, but fish bladders, aka Isinglass, are used in the production of many beers, so get over it. That's not why it tastes that way.
Many say Guinness tastes different in Ireland than it does in the states. I personally find that it tastes the same, but then again I don't have the most refined of beer palates.
Note: if you're traveling in Ireland and you don't favor heavy dark beers, try a pint of Smithwick's (pronounced 'Smithick's') ale instead.
-Guinness is also featured in Guinness Stew, a derivation of Shepherd's Pie that includes stewing the meat and vegetables in Guinness. But don't get your hopes up--while tasty, most of the alcohol burns of during cooking.
2. Fish 'n Chips- also found in the UK, but still quintessentially Irish. Nothing too thrilling, just a basic staple, excellent pub food that goes well with a pint. It usually comes as one large piece of beer-battered white fish (probably cod or haddock), a mound of thick-cut chips (they're not called 'fries,' you American), and mashed peas, which is the only questionable part of the dish. Sometimes you'll get tartar sauce on the side, and usually a nice big chuck of lemon to season the fish. But if you want ketchup for your chips, good luck finding any--there is an obvious absence of the Heinz 57 bottle on every table that we're so accustomed to in the States. Maybe you could try 'brown sauce'--whatever that is--or vinegar instead.
Note: be careful of those nasty little bones in your fish, as I found once when I got nearly an entire spinal column in my order.
3. Potatoes- Irish people do eat a lot of potatoes, because they grow well here and when prepared correctly can be pretty healthy. True, frying them up or slathering them in butter and salt usually cancels out most of their vitamin benefits. But there are about a dozen common Irish ways to prepare them, and listing them all could make you sound like Bubba talking about shrimp...and shrimp stew...and shrimp gumbo.
One of the most common preparations is the chip, which comes with everything from burgers and fish to lasagne (no, I don't understand either). Irish chips are usually thickly cut, similar to what we in the States call 'steak fries', and lightly salted. Other common preparations include boiled, roasted and mashed. All of them are delicious.
4. Yoghurt- not the first thing you think of when you hear Irish Foods. But the differences in flavors available here gives it a spot on the list. Flavors I've never seen in the states, such as Hazelnut and Apple (why don't we have these in the States?) are nutritious and delicious.
5. Lamb- good luck driving through the countryside in the spring and then trying to eat this. You will have nightmares haunted by Hannibal Lecter. Because everywhere you look in the months of March, April and May, you will see the cutest little lambkins frolicking and gamboling and other adjectives that can only be used to describe tiny cute animals. This means, however, that you will also see them on the menu. Roasted up, topped with gravy, and served over veg and podado. Cute? Not anymore. Delicious? Yes, if you can get past the guilt.
6. Chocolate- You might not be able to, as one friend has adamantly reminded me on several occasions, get good chocolate in the brands we are so familiar with in the States. Yes, your Snickers might taste like a charbroiled shoe. But just a quick hop over the Irish Sea is Cadbury, fine purveyors of British chocolate for generations. A variety of flavors, including caramel, crisp, mint, almond, coconut and good old fashioned milk chocolate, are available for a euro or two at the counter of every Euro Spar from Waterford to Sligo. (I understand many of you have no idea where either of these places are. I could easily have said 'all across Ireland'. But this is an educational blog. Go look at Google Maps, for god sakes.)
7. Cabbage- firstly, I've left off the 'corned beef' part for a few reasons- one, I can't recall actually seeing corned beef and cabbage on a menu anywhere, probably because I wasn't looking for it; two, I've never had any particular desire to eat corned beef, and I never actually have, so I can't evaluate it.
Anyway, cabbage is another quintessential Irish vegetable, also because it grows heartily in the rough Irish landscape. It's pretty easy to cook, just boil the hell out of it and it's good to go. Excluding that St. Paddy's Day meal you all subject yourselves to (even though no one seems to like it...why do you eat it, then?), cabbage is usually mixed in with other vegetables where it tastes like nothing more than that--vegetable. In fact, it doesn't seem to be a big part of Irish cuisine. I tend to think of it being more popular in Eastern European food (meat-stuffed cabbage and pierogies at Veselka, anyone?)
8. Shepherd's Pie- now this is 'the' Irish dish. Why? Because it's easy to make. This isn't the Sorbon--the Irish never invented any fancy ways for cooking things. Its made with common inexpensive ingredients and is quick to whip up, delicious to eat, and leaves you feeling heartily filled. The combination of beef, vegetables, gravy and of course potatoes is classic comfort food. Everyone makes it a little differently, but it's good everywhere.
9. Salmon- Yes please. I love me some salmon, the greatest experience of my culinary life being on the West coast and getting to eat fresh fish every day--if you haven't had Wahoo, you should. Now.
I digress. This fish, which is actually good for you, is pretty popular in Ireland. Sometimes you can find it simply grilled served over salad or rice...or potatoes. But often it's smothered in some form of cream sauce by itself or mixed with pasta. This is not bad, but too heavy to eat much of in one sitting. Also, the cream sauce cancels out most of the nutrition of the fish. That, and my mild case of food poisoning from creamy salmon from Wicklow.
10. Peanut Butter and Nutella- Why is this on the list, you may say? Because I'm a poor college student, and this is the meal that I eat the most often here in Dublin. Yes, simple wheat bread, Panda Brand Peanut Butter, and Nutella. Easy, cheap, not really nutritious, but there you have it. I'm a girl of simple tastes.
Extra: Tea and Coffee- I wanted to include these but I thought eleven was a weird number for a list, so here's a postscript.
Tea: Ireland is within spitting distance of Britain, so tea is a big thing here too (though certainly not stuffy formal tea times). Brits and Irish alike drink this the way most of us in the States drink coffee--with lots of cream and sugar, and on a fairly constant basis.
Coffee: I maintain that you cannot use the word 'coffee' to describe what they serve in Ireland. Ordering 'coffee' in corner stores and cafes gets you a cup of steamed milk and espresso-like stuff...a latte. American-style 'coffee' usually consists of you pouring dark brown flakes of who-knows-what from a packet or jar into your mug and topping it off with hot water. It looks like weak coffee, tastes a little worse, but gets the job done in terms of caffeine. For those Starbucks Snobs among us, and yours truly, this doesn't cut it.
From one food snob to another, I hope you enjoyed my evaluation of Irish food.
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