American Hunting

            Let me preface this story with an explanation about what I like to think of as social hunting. Imagine the social scene as something of a safari where everyone is a predator (not in the Stone Phillips kind of way) hunting for something. Some use decoys and camouflage to get what they want; others directly hunt it down. A common type of this activity is what I like to call ‘Husband Hunting.’ A young eligible lass goes looking for an eligible man (age irrelevant) to sink her hooks into—er, marry for security, money, social status, etc. Her lip-gloss is her shotgun, her high heels like daggers, and her eye of the tiger is on the prize. Players may play, but they have nothing on a determined Husband Hunter.

            On the second day of classes here in Dublin, while waiting for lecture to start, I was privy to something I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to hear. The conversation took place between two Irish lads sitting behind me…I’m guessing they didn’t think I was American, or else didn’t care. For the sake of being offensive, I’ve given these lads the monikers Seamus and Connor.

Seamus: “Those were some beautes, eh?”

Connor: “What’s that?”

Seamus: “American girls.”

Connor: “Oh yeah. They liked you.”

Seamus: “Yeah, and they’re all looking for a nice Irish fella’.”

Connor: “All of them?”

Seamus: “Yeah, that’s what they’re looking for. You have to play up the stereotypes, though.”

Connor: “Make the accent heavy.”

Seamus: “Yeah, and tell them you like Irish music. They think we all listen to traditional music all the time.”

Connor: “But that’s what they like.”

Seamus: “Oh yeah.”

            Okay. So they’re not wrong. American girls like Irish boys. Be it the accent, the circuitous yet charming way of talking, or the foreignness, the whole un-American novelty, ladies love the Irish lads. Apparently it goes both ways.

            And thus it gives rise to what may be a decades-old sport here at DCU, a never-ending match in which countless contestants play out the same scenarios year after year—naïve American girls come to study, enlightened Irish boys take advantage of the situation. Although, given the subtle offensive tactics of social hunting, who’s taking advantage of who?