As of right now, I have 35 days left to make benefit glorious nation Ireland. And I think maybe 8 of those days are not already booked. Which means it feels like I'm going home in about a week.
But really, I'm cramming all of the things I want to do but haven't been able to yet into this limited amount of time I have remaining.
Alloweth me to break it downst for thee.
Part I. Ireland, All Out
The arrival of the Madre on May 3rd means the beginning of the tourist blowout, Irish style. A full week of about-towning, a day of brew at Guinness, churches, libraries, castles, museums, shops, pubs. Maybe a day trip or two--Howth (Hoe- thhh... why couldn't they just spell it like that?) and Dun Laoghaire (Done Leery....again, spelling). Then two days in Galway for much of the same, then back to the Dubs for the departure of the Madre.
Part II. The Scottish Reprieve
Depart early morning for Edinburgh, arrive and proceed to destroy by viewing all significant tourist attractions within 12 hours. Sleep. Leave early next morning to go look for Nessie and Hogwarts and other things that don't exist--JUST KIDDING YES THEY DO >:( Make significant scientific and/or magical discovery, catch sheep, return to Edinburgh, celebrate discovery with attractive Scottish folk, sleep. Depart for Dubs.
Part III. In Which I Still Have to Pretend to Care About School
May 18th- take Communications exam, the last obstacle standing between me and my degree. Demolish it.
Part IV. Praha-ha, Czech Me Out
Depart May 21st for Prague. Arrive in style. Take city by storm. Avoid throngs of tourists. View castles, churches, bridges, synagogues, monuments to communism, museums, etc. See ghost. Find American bar. Eat goulash. Depart May 24th.
Part V. The End
Pack, say good-bye, take a billion pictures, have one last hurrah in Temple Bar, steal a few pint glasses, catch a leprechaun, find gold. Return to the States fabulously wealthy and tan. Become that person who went on Study Abroad and now has to start every sentence with "Well when I was living in Europe..."
And now, in the mean time, I will watch Fresh Prince and make memes and write blogs and pretty much anything that doesn't involve doing my homework or applying for a real job.
Ciao! (See, it's started already. Soon I'll be double-kissing everyone on the cheek)
April 22, 2012
April 18, 2012
That Awkward Moment With Irish Food
I think it's safe to say that Americans have many perceptions of Ireland: castles, leprechauns, Celtic crosses, Guinness, potatoes, words with too many vowels, etc. So before I left, I was prone to getting all sorts of opinions: "The countryside is so beautiful!" or "The Guinness tastes so much better!" or "The people are so nice!"
Understandably I was expecting to enter a land of friendly if not inebriated people, sheep, and magical faeries and rainbows (which might just be a side-effect of all the Guinness).
While most everyone's words about Ireland were positive and assured me I'd have a wonderful time, I did get one warning: Irish food sucks.
Could it be? I knew English food had a reputation as being pretty grim--puddings that have nothing to do with Bill Cosby do not intrigue me in the least--but I didn't know much about Irish food.
Except for the Potato (or 'podado' if you're a local).
The Irish Potato Famine--yes, we know. Irish people eat a lot of potatoes, the reasons for which I have already discussed at length in an essay and really don't want to expound again.
But what else do they eat?
Here's a list of ten Irish foods, traditional and non-traditional, delicious and disgusting, that I've discovered over the past few months.
1. Guinness- This deserves to be classified as a food by itself, mostly because it's heavy enough to count as a meal. Foreigners taking their first sip of the stout are likely to make the 'ew' face--wrinkled nose, squinty eyes, puckered mouth that seems to say 'did I just drink that?' Yes, you did. And it's the lifeblood of the Irish, so drink up, lads. Barley is one of the major grains of Ireland, and it's heavily roasted to give Guinness that signature taste. Is fish used in it? Maybe, but fish bladders, aka Isinglass, are used in the production of many beers, so get over it. That's not why it tastes that way.
Many say Guinness tastes different in Ireland than it does in the states. I personally find that it tastes the same, but then again I don't have the most refined of beer palates.
Note: if you're traveling in Ireland and you don't favor heavy dark beers, try a pint of Smithwick's (pronounced 'Smithick's') ale instead.
-Guinness is also featured in Guinness Stew, a derivation of Shepherd's Pie that includes stewing the meat and vegetables in Guinness. But don't get your hopes up--while tasty, most of the alcohol burns of during cooking.
2. Fish 'n Chips- also found in the UK, but still quintessentially Irish. Nothing too thrilling, just a basic staple, excellent pub food that goes well with a pint. It usually comes as one large piece of beer-battered white fish (probably cod or haddock), a mound of thick-cut chips (they're not called 'fries,' you American), and mashed peas, which is the only questionable part of the dish. Sometimes you'll get tartar sauce on the side, and usually a nice big chuck of lemon to season the fish. But if you want ketchup for your chips, good luck finding any--there is an obvious absence of the Heinz 57 bottle on every table that we're so accustomed to in the States. Maybe you could try 'brown sauce'--whatever that is--or vinegar instead.
Note: be careful of those nasty little bones in your fish, as I found once when I got nearly an entire spinal column in my order.
3. Potatoes- Irish people do eat a lot of potatoes, because they grow well here and when prepared correctly can be pretty healthy. True, frying them up or slathering them in butter and salt usually cancels out most of their vitamin benefits. But there are about a dozen common Irish ways to prepare them, and listing them all could make you sound like Bubba talking about shrimp...and shrimp stew...and shrimp gumbo.
One of the most common preparations is the chip, which comes with everything from burgers and fish to lasagne (no, I don't understand either). Irish chips are usually thickly cut, similar to what we in the States call 'steak fries', and lightly salted. Other common preparations include boiled, roasted and mashed. All of them are delicious.
4. Yoghurt- not the first thing you think of when you hear Irish Foods. But the differences in flavors available here gives it a spot on the list. Flavors I've never seen in the states, such as Hazelnut and Apple (why don't we have these in the States?) are nutritious and delicious.
5. Lamb- good luck driving through the countryside in the spring and then trying to eat this. You will have nightmares haunted by Hannibal Lecter. Because everywhere you look in the months of March, April and May, you will see the cutest little lambkins frolicking and gamboling and other adjectives that can only be used to describe tiny cute animals. This means, however, that you will also see them on the menu. Roasted up, topped with gravy, and served over veg and podado. Cute? Not anymore. Delicious? Yes, if you can get past the guilt.
6. Chocolate- You might not be able to, as one friend has adamantly reminded me on several occasions, get good chocolate in the brands we are so familiar with in the States. Yes, your Snickers might taste like a charbroiled shoe. But just a quick hop over the Irish Sea is Cadbury, fine purveyors of British chocolate for generations. A variety of flavors, including caramel, crisp, mint, almond, coconut and good old fashioned milk chocolate, are available for a euro or two at the counter of every Euro Spar from Waterford to Sligo. (I understand many of you have no idea where either of these places are. I could easily have said 'all across Ireland'. But this is an educational blog. Go look at Google Maps, for god sakes.)
7. Cabbage- firstly, I've left off the 'corned beef' part for a few reasons- one, I can't recall actually seeing corned beef and cabbage on a menu anywhere, probably because I wasn't looking for it; two, I've never had any particular desire to eat corned beef, and I never actually have, so I can't evaluate it.
Anyway, cabbage is another quintessential Irish vegetable, also because it grows heartily in the rough Irish landscape. It's pretty easy to cook, just boil the hell out of it and it's good to go. Excluding that St. Paddy's Day meal you all subject yourselves to (even though no one seems to like it...why do you eat it, then?), cabbage is usually mixed in with other vegetables where it tastes like nothing more than that--vegetable. In fact, it doesn't seem to be a big part of Irish cuisine. I tend to think of it being more popular in Eastern European food (meat-stuffed cabbage and pierogies at Veselka, anyone?)
8. Shepherd's Pie- now this is 'the' Irish dish. Why? Because it's easy to make. This isn't the Sorbon--the Irish never invented any fancy ways for cooking things. Its made with common inexpensive ingredients and is quick to whip up, delicious to eat, and leaves you feeling heartily filled. The combination of beef, vegetables, gravy and of course potatoes is classic comfort food. Everyone makes it a little differently, but it's good everywhere.
9. Salmon- Yes please. I love me some salmon, the greatest experience of my culinary life being on the West coast and getting to eat fresh fish every day--if you haven't had Wahoo, you should. Now.
I digress. This fish, which is actually good for you, is pretty popular in Ireland. Sometimes you can find it simply grilled served over salad or rice...or potatoes. But often it's smothered in some form of cream sauce by itself or mixed with pasta. This is not bad, but too heavy to eat much of in one sitting. Also, the cream sauce cancels out most of the nutrition of the fish. That, and my mild case of food poisoning from creamy salmon from Wicklow.
10. Peanut Butter and Nutella- Why is this on the list, you may say? Because I'm a poor college student, and this is the meal that I eat the most often here in Dublin. Yes, simple wheat bread, Panda Brand Peanut Butter, and Nutella. Easy, cheap, not really nutritious, but there you have it. I'm a girl of simple tastes.
Extra: Tea and Coffee- I wanted to include these but I thought eleven was a weird number for a list, so here's a postscript.
Tea: Ireland is within spitting distance of Britain, so tea is a big thing here too (though certainly not stuffy formal tea times). Brits and Irish alike drink this the way most of us in the States drink coffee--with lots of cream and sugar, and on a fairly constant basis.
Coffee: I maintain that you cannot use the word 'coffee' to describe what they serve in Ireland. Ordering 'coffee' in corner stores and cafes gets you a cup of steamed milk and espresso-like stuff...a latte. American-style 'coffee' usually consists of you pouring dark brown flakes of who-knows-what from a packet or jar into your mug and topping it off with hot water. It looks like weak coffee, tastes a little worse, but gets the job done in terms of caffeine. For those Starbucks Snobs among us, and yours truly, this doesn't cut it.
From one food snob to another, I hope you enjoyed my evaluation of Irish food.
Understandably I was expecting to enter a land of friendly if not inebriated people, sheep, and magical faeries and rainbows (which might just be a side-effect of all the Guinness).
While most everyone's words about Ireland were positive and assured me I'd have a wonderful time, I did get one warning: Irish food sucks.
Could it be? I knew English food had a reputation as being pretty grim--puddings that have nothing to do with Bill Cosby do not intrigue me in the least--but I didn't know much about Irish food.
Except for the Potato (or 'podado' if you're a local).
The Irish Potato Famine--yes, we know. Irish people eat a lot of potatoes, the reasons for which I have already discussed at length in an essay and really don't want to expound again.
But what else do they eat?
Here's a list of ten Irish foods, traditional and non-traditional, delicious and disgusting, that I've discovered over the past few months.
1. Guinness- This deserves to be classified as a food by itself, mostly because it's heavy enough to count as a meal. Foreigners taking their first sip of the stout are likely to make the 'ew' face--wrinkled nose, squinty eyes, puckered mouth that seems to say 'did I just drink that?' Yes, you did. And it's the lifeblood of the Irish, so drink up, lads. Barley is one of the major grains of Ireland, and it's heavily roasted to give Guinness that signature taste. Is fish used in it? Maybe, but fish bladders, aka Isinglass, are used in the production of many beers, so get over it. That's not why it tastes that way.
Many say Guinness tastes different in Ireland than it does in the states. I personally find that it tastes the same, but then again I don't have the most refined of beer palates.
Note: if you're traveling in Ireland and you don't favor heavy dark beers, try a pint of Smithwick's (pronounced 'Smithick's') ale instead.
-Guinness is also featured in Guinness Stew, a derivation of Shepherd's Pie that includes stewing the meat and vegetables in Guinness. But don't get your hopes up--while tasty, most of the alcohol burns of during cooking.
2. Fish 'n Chips- also found in the UK, but still quintessentially Irish. Nothing too thrilling, just a basic staple, excellent pub food that goes well with a pint. It usually comes as one large piece of beer-battered white fish (probably cod or haddock), a mound of thick-cut chips (they're not called 'fries,' you American), and mashed peas, which is the only questionable part of the dish. Sometimes you'll get tartar sauce on the side, and usually a nice big chuck of lemon to season the fish. But if you want ketchup for your chips, good luck finding any--there is an obvious absence of the Heinz 57 bottle on every table that we're so accustomed to in the States. Maybe you could try 'brown sauce'--whatever that is--or vinegar instead.
Note: be careful of those nasty little bones in your fish, as I found once when I got nearly an entire spinal column in my order.
3. Potatoes- Irish people do eat a lot of potatoes, because they grow well here and when prepared correctly can be pretty healthy. True, frying them up or slathering them in butter and salt usually cancels out most of their vitamin benefits. But there are about a dozen common Irish ways to prepare them, and listing them all could make you sound like Bubba talking about shrimp...and shrimp stew...and shrimp gumbo.
One of the most common preparations is the chip, which comes with everything from burgers and fish to lasagne (no, I don't understand either). Irish chips are usually thickly cut, similar to what we in the States call 'steak fries', and lightly salted. Other common preparations include boiled, roasted and mashed. All of them are delicious.
4. Yoghurt- not the first thing you think of when you hear Irish Foods. But the differences in flavors available here gives it a spot on the list. Flavors I've never seen in the states, such as Hazelnut and Apple (why don't we have these in the States?) are nutritious and delicious.
5. Lamb- good luck driving through the countryside in the spring and then trying to eat this. You will have nightmares haunted by Hannibal Lecter. Because everywhere you look in the months of March, April and May, you will see the cutest little lambkins frolicking and gamboling and other adjectives that can only be used to describe tiny cute animals. This means, however, that you will also see them on the menu. Roasted up, topped with gravy, and served over veg and podado. Cute? Not anymore. Delicious? Yes, if you can get past the guilt.
6. Chocolate- You might not be able to, as one friend has adamantly reminded me on several occasions, get good chocolate in the brands we are so familiar with in the States. Yes, your Snickers might taste like a charbroiled shoe. But just a quick hop over the Irish Sea is Cadbury, fine purveyors of British chocolate for generations. A variety of flavors, including caramel, crisp, mint, almond, coconut and good old fashioned milk chocolate, are available for a euro or two at the counter of every Euro Spar from Waterford to Sligo. (I understand many of you have no idea where either of these places are. I could easily have said 'all across Ireland'. But this is an educational blog. Go look at Google Maps, for god sakes.)
7. Cabbage- firstly, I've left off the 'corned beef' part for a few reasons- one, I can't recall actually seeing corned beef and cabbage on a menu anywhere, probably because I wasn't looking for it; two, I've never had any particular desire to eat corned beef, and I never actually have, so I can't evaluate it.
Anyway, cabbage is another quintessential Irish vegetable, also because it grows heartily in the rough Irish landscape. It's pretty easy to cook, just boil the hell out of it and it's good to go. Excluding that St. Paddy's Day meal you all subject yourselves to (even though no one seems to like it...why do you eat it, then?), cabbage is usually mixed in with other vegetables where it tastes like nothing more than that--vegetable. In fact, it doesn't seem to be a big part of Irish cuisine. I tend to think of it being more popular in Eastern European food (meat-stuffed cabbage and pierogies at Veselka, anyone?)
8. Shepherd's Pie- now this is 'the' Irish dish. Why? Because it's easy to make. This isn't the Sorbon--the Irish never invented any fancy ways for cooking things. Its made with common inexpensive ingredients and is quick to whip up, delicious to eat, and leaves you feeling heartily filled. The combination of beef, vegetables, gravy and of course potatoes is classic comfort food. Everyone makes it a little differently, but it's good everywhere.
9. Salmon- Yes please. I love me some salmon, the greatest experience of my culinary life being on the West coast and getting to eat fresh fish every day--if you haven't had Wahoo, you should. Now.
I digress. This fish, which is actually good for you, is pretty popular in Ireland. Sometimes you can find it simply grilled served over salad or rice...or potatoes. But often it's smothered in some form of cream sauce by itself or mixed with pasta. This is not bad, but too heavy to eat much of in one sitting. Also, the cream sauce cancels out most of the nutrition of the fish. That, and my mild case of food poisoning from creamy salmon from Wicklow.
10. Peanut Butter and Nutella- Why is this on the list, you may say? Because I'm a poor college student, and this is the meal that I eat the most often here in Dublin. Yes, simple wheat bread, Panda Brand Peanut Butter, and Nutella. Easy, cheap, not really nutritious, but there you have it. I'm a girl of simple tastes.
Extra: Tea and Coffee- I wanted to include these but I thought eleven was a weird number for a list, so here's a postscript.
Tea: Ireland is within spitting distance of Britain, so tea is a big thing here too (though certainly not stuffy formal tea times). Brits and Irish alike drink this the way most of us in the States drink coffee--with lots of cream and sugar, and on a fairly constant basis.
Coffee: I maintain that you cannot use the word 'coffee' to describe what they serve in Ireland. Ordering 'coffee' in corner stores and cafes gets you a cup of steamed milk and espresso-like stuff...a latte. American-style 'coffee' usually consists of you pouring dark brown flakes of who-knows-what from a packet or jar into your mug and topping it off with hot water. It looks like weak coffee, tastes a little worse, but gets the job done in terms of caffeine. For those Starbucks Snobs among us, and yours truly, this doesn't cut it.
From one food snob to another, I hope you enjoyed my evaluation of Irish food.
April 6, 2012
New Blog
Aaaaaaaagh. I know.
No posts.
I am working a comparison of Irish vs. Italian food...who do you think is going to win that battle?
But I'm also nerding out hardcore and starting up a new blog to do some R&D on my life's passion--preventing fat lazy Americans from owning big cats. I also want to use it as a kind of sounding board if people have any suggestions for projects or educational initiatives. So if that sounds interesting to you and you want to help a sister out, check it out.
In the mean time, to keep you entertained, here's a list of my top ten favorite things about Rome:
10. The People: despite being constantly bombarded by tourists, Romans are exceptionally nice. Though the men can be a little creepy.
9. The Weather: you mean it's not 40 degrees and cloudy every day?
8. The Language: I think I was born to speak a language that involves waving your hands around dramatically and yelling.
7. The Fashion: because people don't wear tights and shorts everywhere they go.
6. The Cliches: because all weekend I got to say things like 'When in Rome' and 'Roman Holiday' and hear things like 'Smell that aROMEa'.
5. The Heritage: I finally got to go to the Motherland, and didn't feel like I looked like a total foreigner. Could walk down the street without getting questions like "Are you Chinese?"
4. The History: Rome is a place where ancient history sits literally in the middle of the modern city. The Colosseo Metro stop really does drop you right at the Colosseum.
3. 'Marble and Water': what Rome is made of. Statues and fountains everywhere, with gorgeous architecture and spectacular decoration every way you look.
2. The Food: pizza and pasta on every street corner? Yes, please. Why aren't all Italians obese?
1. Mango Gelato: enough said.
No posts.
I am working a comparison of Irish vs. Italian food...who do you think is going to win that battle?
But I'm also nerding out hardcore and starting up a new blog to do some R&D on my life's passion--preventing fat lazy Americans from owning big cats. I also want to use it as a kind of sounding board if people have any suggestions for projects or educational initiatives. So if that sounds interesting to you and you want to help a sister out, check it out.
In the mean time, to keep you entertained, here's a list of my top ten favorite things about Rome:
10. The People: despite being constantly bombarded by tourists, Romans are exceptionally nice. Though the men can be a little creepy.
9. The Weather: you mean it's not 40 degrees and cloudy every day?
8. The Language: I think I was born to speak a language that involves waving your hands around dramatically and yelling.
7. The Fashion: because people don't wear tights and shorts everywhere they go.
6. The Cliches: because all weekend I got to say things like 'When in Rome' and 'Roman Holiday' and hear things like 'Smell that aROMEa'.
5. The Heritage: I finally got to go to the Motherland, and didn't feel like I looked like a total foreigner. Could walk down the street without getting questions like "Are you Chinese?"
4. The History: Rome is a place where ancient history sits literally in the middle of the modern city. The Colosseo Metro stop really does drop you right at the Colosseum.
3. 'Marble and Water': what Rome is made of. Statues and fountains everywhere, with gorgeous architecture and spectacular decoration every way you look.
2. The Food: pizza and pasta on every street corner? Yes, please. Why aren't all Italians obese?
1. Mango Gelato: enough said.
March 16, 2012
Just When You Thought I Forgot About This Blog...
Well hello. It’s been a while.
Not gonna lie, it’s been a difficult couple of weeks with homesickness and culture shock. That and a pressing paper assignment and general lack of inspiration. But anyway, I’m a writer and there’s always something to write about. So here we go.
As you well know by now, I’m startled by the differences in physical presentation between the Irish and what I’m used to back in Boston. It’s not that people in the States don’t dress similar to people in Ireland, and vice-versa, but I’m used to a certain thing and haven’t found it here yet. So the gist is, as one friend put it: I miss my crew. I miss the people that I know, and that know me, because I’m comfortable with them. We have our jokes and stories. And I don’t need to wear high heels and ‘hooker makeup’ to impress them, partly because most of them aren’t the kind of people to be impressed by that, and partly because I don’t care if I impress them. Because I know them, and they know me, and once all your secrets and tics are out on the table, appearances don’t count for much.
So then, other than missing my friends, why is it that I feel so uncomfortable in Ireland? Because, cliché or not, first impressions are lasting. I see British and Irish television and websites and magazines, and I see such a focus on appearance. I walk through city centre and see young girls with too much makeup and hair dye, wearing mini skirts and skinny jeans. And it scares me, because at first it seems unfamiliar and foreign. For several weeks I felt lost, like I didn’t fit in, based on these first impressions. Until I realized that it’s exactly the same back home. Anyone coming to the U.S. for the first time would be floored by the massive focus placed on physical appearance in mainstream culture. It would be one of the first things that they’re exposed to, so it would make for a lasting first impression.
For a few weeks, I struggled between fitting into what I thought was the mould in Ireland and staying the person I was before I left Boston. A bad few months before leaving combined with the sudden shock of arrival left me feeling stranded and isolated. I was blinded by my first impression: that everyone here was alike, that only one thing was valued in culture and, above all, that I didn’t fit in. Until, again, I realized that it’s exactly the same back home. Maybe I didn’t fit in right away when I moved to Boston. But eventually I found my crew, my friends who still want to be my friends regardless of my footwear or hair color. And it took me a long time to become the person I am now, and I’m not going to sacrifice that to blend in. I should know by now that fitting in is not the most important thing. So I’m going to gather my self-esteem up from where it’s fallen here at rock bottom. I’m sure that somewhere in Dublin, there’s a group of tattooed, Metallica t-shirt-wearing, jazz-listening, cat-loving, inappropriate-joke-telling, cheap-beer-drinking bunch of dorks who are looking for an American to join their ranks—my surrogate crew until I get back home.
That one was a bit personal, but it ought to keep you satisfied for a while, vultures.
February 27, 2012
How To Dress Like An Irish [L]ass- With Pictures!
As a follow-up to my last post, I’ve composed this description of how I think I would dress if I were Irish, or trying to look like it. This is based off my month-long observation of what ‘kids these days’ are wearing. All pictures are from 'New Look', a popular chain shop.
Head to Toe
Hair: I would buy one of those freaky hair sponges they sell everywhere and use it to create the ‘perfect’ bun. Then I would shake my head around until I had whiplash to create the perfect ‘messy’ look.
Scarf: You can’t be European without the scarf. Any color or fabric will do as long as you never allow your neck to be fully exposed for more than 30 seconds. This will save you from vampires.
Top: Something filmy and flowing and what you would see in the dictionary if you looked up the word ‘diaphanous.’ Probably covered in precious flowers or little birds. Completely irrelevant in chilly weather.
Sweater: A thickly knitted sweater in bleak shades of grays or blues or black. Can be removed when you want to show your shoulders to the boys. Can be put back on when you realize it’s 40 degrees outside.
Shorts/Tights: I’ve got to group these together, since they are always worn together.
Step 1: Choose a pair of tights in your color of choice—green, purple, grey, black, maroon, etc.
Step 2: Choose a pair of shorts that are completely inappropriate for the time of year.
Step 3: Combine.
Viola! You’re legs are completely covered but still frozen.
Shoes: Lace up a pair of Converse sneakers, preferably a color that directly clashes with your tights.
Complete the look with a ton of what we in the States call ‘Hooker Make-up’ and way too much self-tanner and you’re good to go!
Now you either look:
- Acceptable for your age (if you are 16 or under)
- Like a Fashion Victim that got dressed in the dark.
Next Blog: Why Irish People Must Be Horrible At Geometry (Coming Soon!)
February 16, 2012
The Pants Situation
I've lived in big cities for a while now. I understand that trends come and go, and in major metropolitan areas they are often readily on display amongst the masses. After a brief fling with fashion at a younger age, I now find I have neither the time, nor the money, nor the attention span, to follow fashion trends and adjust my wardrobe accordingly. When the grunge-rocker-chic look got big a couple years ago I bought up what I could and keep it going in my own style, regardless of what Vogue says. I do this because I like it, because it fits my personality and my body type, and because I can't get a new wardrobe every season, or even every couple of seasons. So, because I like people watching, and live in a big city, I'm usually aware of current trends, even if I don't follow them.
Now, the most important thing to remember about trends is that they don't look good on everyone. And, they don't look good on everyone. Also, they don't look good on everyone. In this notion, I think perhaps some of the lovely ladies of Dublin might need a refresher.
Let's start with an overview of Dublin Female Fashion, or at least the impression that I've gathered over the past few weeks. Firstly, women in Dublin tend to dress more sophisticatedly than women in Boston. Sorry ladies, it's the truth. Boston is notoriously one of the worst dressed cities in the world. Remember The Departed? Pretty sure no one in Southie actually dresses as well as DiCaprio did. Not everyone in Boston is poorly dressed (ahem, I live there) but on the overall, we can do better. So my initial impression of Dublin was that everyone dresses very well. However, the more time I spend here, particularly outside of City Centre (it really is spelled that way), I realize this is wrong. They don't necessarily dress better, just different.
Here's how-
Break It Down:
Heels: Dublin ladies love them some high heels. The latest trend in heels apparently is the platform, which means that not only are you wearing a five-inch stiletto heel; you also have an additional two inches beneath your toes. Because it wasn't hard enough to walk already.
Make-Up: Dublin females and she-males by far wear more make-up than Bostonians. Not just out and about on the town on a Tuesday night (yeah, that's weird, right? Maybe another post discussing nights of the week later). For class, Dublin ladies coat on the mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick. For 10 am classes. For someone who goes to a school where you're lucky if half your class had enough energy to put on real pants and shoes, not pajamas and flip-flops, let alone lip-gloss, this is surprising.
Skirts: This one is tricky. I'm not a prude, and I say if you got it, flaunt it. But if you can't bend over to pick up something without the world seeing what you ate for breakfast, maybe your skirt is too short. Also, sometimes it's cold out. Isn't the risk of hypothermia more pressing than looking cool at a club? No, probably not.
Shorts: See above.
Leather shorts: What are you thinking? I hope you have diaper rash ointment, and nowhere to go in the morning.
Leggings: Not pants. At least wear a shirt that covers your bum.
Pants: Now this is where I really have some contention with the Irish. This pants situation that I've noticed definitely happens in the U.S. but not nearly to the extent as I've seen it here.
The current big trend is bright colored pants. Okay, not for me, but if you like it, go for it. But also tight bright colored pants. This looks really great when seen in a fashion show and it's on a giraffe stomping down a runway. But in the place I live, the real world, say it with me…. they don't look good on everyone. Ladies, if you wear a fashion trend that does not suit your body type, not only does it look unflattering, it makes you look silly. It makes you look like you have no self-respect and no individual style. Because you look desperate to fit in.
Guys, if you wear tight, bright-colored pants…you are on your own.
There are, of course, some very well dressed people in Dublin who, combined with their European good looks, put me in my boot-cut jeans and motorcycle jacket to chocolate binging shame. Then there was the lass on the bus in the shredded tights and short-shorts with a bad bleach job who made me feel a little better. Every city has its fashion extremes, Dublin and Boston included. So while a large number of ladies don their heels and make-up and skirts and head to the clubs, I keep my jeans and flats to go to the pub and hope I can meet other people who agree that leggings are not pants and that maybe leather shorts are a bad idea.
Now, the most important thing to remember about trends is that they don't look good on everyone. And, they don't look good on everyone. Also, they don't look good on everyone. In this notion, I think perhaps some of the lovely ladies of Dublin might need a refresher.
Let's start with an overview of Dublin Female Fashion, or at least the impression that I've gathered over the past few weeks. Firstly, women in Dublin tend to dress more sophisticatedly than women in Boston. Sorry ladies, it's the truth. Boston is notoriously one of the worst dressed cities in the world. Remember The Departed? Pretty sure no one in Southie actually dresses as well as DiCaprio did. Not everyone in Boston is poorly dressed (ahem, I live there) but on the overall, we can do better. So my initial impression of Dublin was that everyone dresses very well. However, the more time I spend here, particularly outside of City Centre (it really is spelled that way), I realize this is wrong. They don't necessarily dress better, just different.
Here's how-
Break It Down:
Heels: Dublin ladies love them some high heels. The latest trend in heels apparently is the platform, which means that not only are you wearing a five-inch stiletto heel; you also have an additional two inches beneath your toes. Because it wasn't hard enough to walk already.
Make-Up: Dublin females and she-males by far wear more make-up than Bostonians. Not just out and about on the town on a Tuesday night (yeah, that's weird, right? Maybe another post discussing nights of the week later). For class, Dublin ladies coat on the mascara, eyeliner, and lipstick. For 10 am classes. For someone who goes to a school where you're lucky if half your class had enough energy to put on real pants and shoes, not pajamas and flip-flops, let alone lip-gloss, this is surprising.
Skirts: This one is tricky. I'm not a prude, and I say if you got it, flaunt it. But if you can't bend over to pick up something without the world seeing what you ate for breakfast, maybe your skirt is too short. Also, sometimes it's cold out. Isn't the risk of hypothermia more pressing than looking cool at a club? No, probably not.
Shorts: See above.
Leather shorts: What are you thinking? I hope you have diaper rash ointment, and nowhere to go in the morning.
Leggings: Not pants. At least wear a shirt that covers your bum.
Pants: Now this is where I really have some contention with the Irish. This pants situation that I've noticed definitely happens in the U.S. but not nearly to the extent as I've seen it here.
The current big trend is bright colored pants. Okay, not for me, but if you like it, go for it. But also tight bright colored pants. This looks really great when seen in a fashion show and it's on a giraffe stomping down a runway. But in the place I live, the real world, say it with me…. they don't look good on everyone. Ladies, if you wear a fashion trend that does not suit your body type, not only does it look unflattering, it makes you look silly. It makes you look like you have no self-respect and no individual style. Because you look desperate to fit in.
Guys, if you wear tight, bright-colored pants…you are on your own.
There are, of course, some very well dressed people in Dublin who, combined with their European good looks, put me in my boot-cut jeans and motorcycle jacket to chocolate binging shame. Then there was the lass on the bus in the shredded tights and short-shorts with a bad bleach job who made me feel a little better. Every city has its fashion extremes, Dublin and Boston included. So while a large number of ladies don their heels and make-up and skirts and head to the clubs, I keep my jeans and flats to go to the pub and hope I can meet other people who agree that leggings are not pants and that maybe leather shorts are a bad idea.
February 10, 2012
American Hunting
Let me preface this story with an explanation about what I like to think of as social hunting. Imagine the social scene as something of a safari where everyone is a predator (not in the Stone Phillips kind of way) hunting for something. Some use decoys and camouflage to get what they want; others directly hunt it down. A common type of this activity is what I like to call ‘Husband Hunting.’ A young eligible lass goes looking for an eligible man (age irrelevant) to sink her hooks into—er, marry for security, money, social status, etc. Her lip-gloss is her shotgun, her high heels like daggers, and her eye of the tiger is on the prize. Players may play, but they have nothing on a determined Husband Hunter.
On the second day of classes here in Dublin, while waiting for lecture to start, I was privy to something I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to hear. The conversation took place between two Irish lads sitting behind me…I’m guessing they didn’t think I was American, or else didn’t care. For the sake of being offensive, I’ve given these lads the monikers Seamus and Connor.
Seamus: “Those were some beautes, eh?”
Connor: “What’s that?”
Seamus: “American girls.”
Connor: “Oh yeah. They liked you.”
Seamus: “Yeah, and they’re all looking for a nice Irish fella’.”
Connor: “All of them?”
Seamus: “Yeah, that’s what they’re looking for. You have to play up the stereotypes, though.”
Connor: “Make the accent heavy.”
Seamus: “Yeah, and tell them you like Irish music. They think we all listen to traditional music all the time.”
Connor: “But that’s what they like.”
Seamus: “Oh yeah.”
Okay. So they’re not wrong. American girls like Irish boys. Be it the accent, the circuitous yet charming way of talking, or the foreignness, the whole un-American novelty, ladies love the Irish lads. Apparently it goes both ways.
And thus it gives rise to what may be a decades-old sport here at DCU, a never-ending match in which countless contestants play out the same scenarios year after year—naïve American girls come to study, enlightened Irish boys take advantage of the situation. Although, given the subtle offensive tactics of social hunting, who’s taking advantage of who?
February 7, 2012
CALL THE BANK...wait...
I made a rather disarming discovery today. Apparently, in my mind, Ireland is Massachusetts with a different accent.
I realized that my brain was of this opinion upon examining my bank statement. On Sunday I withdrew $80 from an ATM. Today when I opened the statement, the history showed an ATM withdrawal of $105. Red flag number one. The first thing I thought was, “That’s one hell of a service charge.” Then I thought of my pre-departure phone call to the bank when I was assured I would not be charged any additional fees for using my card abroad. Red flag number two. I distinctly remembered withdrawing S80 from the ATM. Then I thought, “Did I accidentally withdraw $100?” No, I couldn’t have. Did I drop a $20? No, I’m always careful with my money. Did I lose my card? No, it was still in my wallet, and besides, if someone had stolen it, there would have been charges to it on the statement. The where the hell did my $25 go?
I was at a loss. I couldn’t call my bank from here; the roaming charge on my local phone would be astronomical. So then I turned to the one person every college student turns to when things get scary—Mom. I whipped open a new email and was halfway through asking her to call the bank and figure out what was going on, was there some kind of charge or fee, when the part of my brain that had not fully evolved to human-level intelligence finally caught up. Oh. OH. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
That’s right. My brain, which has now had a full week to recover from jet lag, still forgot that the money I withdrew from the ATM [in Dublin] was in Euros, and my statement [from my bank in Connecticut] was in American dollars. And the two were not equivalent.
Maybe it was just one of the speed bumps of culture shock, forgetting about the currency change. Maybe it happens to many an inexperienced traveler.
Or maybe it has to do with the fact that Dublin actually does have a lot in common with Boston. They both hate the British, for example. They’re both major cities that combine a rich historical heritage with modernity—historic landmark buildings sit next to contemporary office buildings. Tourists abound; buses rumble past and always get way too close to the curb; taxis honk their horns at unnecessary times. Pubs down winding cobblestone alleys play local sports and serve up pints. Nearly everyone speaks English, though sometimes it’s with an unintelligible accent of elongated vowels and dropped consonants. But Boston and Dublin are 3,000 miles apart (don’t ask me how many kilometers that is because I don’t know and I don’t care) and are in two different countries with different histories and cultures. And, as I was forcefully reminded, with two different currencies.
So although it’s a different country, being abroad in Ireland is not the same as I imagine it would be to be in a vastly different place, such as Egypt or South Africa, where reminders that you are in a different culture are everywhere. Once again I have to compensate because my perceptions don’t match reality.
However, there is a Dublin tradition I also discovered today that I have not witnessed before. New blog post coming soon: American Hunting.
February 4, 2012
Auto-Polite: Use With Caution
Over the years, I’ve come to notice that I’ve developed a sort of automatic default in unfamiliar situations to be extra polite. Smile when someone is talking to you. Laugh when they make a joke. Don’t make any weird faces, stand up straight, and try to avoid saying anything horrendously inappropriate/offensive.
For Example:
An Interaction with a hypothetical Irish person (HIP) on Auto-Polite:
HIP: Hello, Beth.
Me: Hello, HIP.
HIP: How are you doing?
Me: I’m well. How are you?
HIP: Settling in all right? Getting along with everyone?
Me: Yes, everyone is very nice so far.
HIP: Good, good, wouldn’t want you stuck with a bunch of (insert colorful Irish saying).
Me: [High-pitched laugh with plastered grin] No, no, they’re all very nice.
HIP: That’s grand. See you later, then, take care.
Me: Yes, you too.
Problems:
First of all, it drives me bananas when you ask people how they are and they don’t answer. I know it’s become a sort of polite placeholder in conversation, but what’s the point in asking if you’re not going to answer.
Second, I am obviously being very fake. In a normal conversation, I would not laugh unless the other person said something very funny. However, I have found that laughter is a sort of neutralizer and makes people feel safer—i.e. if I laugh at your joke I’m not likely to murder you. I automatically resort to laughter whilst in Auto-Polite to keep things relaxed. However, it makes it seem that I have absolutely no sense of humor because I think everything is funny.
Now, let’s look at what happens without this nifty social tool.
An Interaction with HIP off Auto-Polite:
HIP: Hey.
Me: Hey.
HIP: How’s it going?
Me: Eh, you know.
HIP: So a bunch of us are going into city centre tonight to a club. Do you want to come?
Me: Um. [Insert sneer]. I don’t really feel like going clubbing. I’m kind of over that whole “clubbing” scene. Like, I did it a lot when I was younger and needed a lot of attention, but I’ve kind of outgrown it.
HIP: Oh.
Me: Plus it’s really expensive to go clubbing in Europe.
HIP: I guess.
Me: But you guys have a good time.
HIP: Um, thanks.
Problems:
Well, you can see.
Well, you can see.
While Auto-Polite can be great at first, it should be used with care. If you’re too polite initially and laugh too much, people will think you’re crazy. They will also expect you to remain polite so that when the façade eventually falls (and it will) and the real you comes out, you will seem like an enormous, insensitive bitch.
February 3, 2012
Where the fook am I?
So in case you were wondering, it turns out they do have shampoo in Ireland...and it's exactly the same as it is in America.
And other than every sign being written in both Irish and English, so are a lot of other things.
I think I didn't quite know what to expect from Ireland (another planet, maybe), having never been out of my own country before, but it's more similar than I imagined. On the bus ride from the airport to the campus while I was struck by these similarities (Dublin's massive Ikea, for example), I had to remind myself that I couldn't possibly have expected Ireland to have blue trees and purple grass, so what was the big deal? Ikea is, after all, a European company, so why the hell is it a surprise to find it in Ireland?
I also couldn't possibly have expected Dublin to be filled with thatched roofs and sheep and drunk old men in wool jumpers. This is 21st century Europe, the home base of swank and trends, not 17th century Europe (the home base of plague and pestilence). So the fact that downtown Dublin is so metropolitan really shouldn't come as a surprise. But somehow it does.
Which leads me to yet another unplanned revelation: Am I just another ignorant American (again), hell-bent on defining the unexplored world by common stereotypes and preconceived notions? Yes, yes I am.
After a frozen rooftop bus tour of the city where my camera was nearly frozen to my hands, I have decided to embrace my tourist status full-on. Evidently an Irish person can spot an American from at least twenty paces; that plus the accent means I won't be blending in any time soon. Instead of worrying about being conspicuous, I plan to enjoy the time I have here, even if it means being a big neon sign of Americana.
And other than every sign being written in both Irish and English, so are a lot of other things.
I think I didn't quite know what to expect from Ireland (another planet, maybe), having never been out of my own country before, but it's more similar than I imagined. On the bus ride from the airport to the campus while I was struck by these similarities (Dublin's massive Ikea, for example), I had to remind myself that I couldn't possibly have expected Ireland to have blue trees and purple grass, so what was the big deal? Ikea is, after all, a European company, so why the hell is it a surprise to find it in Ireland?
I also couldn't possibly have expected Dublin to be filled with thatched roofs and sheep and drunk old men in wool jumpers. This is 21st century Europe, the home base of swank and trends, not 17th century Europe (the home base of plague and pestilence). So the fact that downtown Dublin is so metropolitan really shouldn't come as a surprise. But somehow it does.
Which leads me to yet another unplanned revelation: Am I just another ignorant American (again), hell-bent on defining the unexplored world by common stereotypes and preconceived notions? Yes, yes I am.
After a frozen rooftop bus tour of the city where my camera was nearly frozen to my hands, I have decided to embrace my tourist status full-on. Evidently an Irish person can spot an American from at least twenty paces; that plus the accent means I won't be blending in any time soon. Instead of worrying about being conspicuous, I plan to enjoy the time I have here, even if it means being a big neon sign of Americana.
January 26, 2012
How to Be a Tourist Without Being a Tourist, In 3 Easy Steps
I found myself in the middle of a raging internal debate in the hair care aisle of CVS yesterday. The subject of this intense mental battle: Do they have good shampoo in Dublin?
This is a foolish question. 95% of me says, "Yes, don't be a dumbass, of course they have decent shampoo in Dublin. Ireland is not a third-world country. You will not have to make your own soap out of pig fat and wildflowers. You will be amongst civilization."
But the other 5% was wondering if it would be able to find a shampoo that moisturizes and smells good, or if everybody just uses Irish Spring?
Which led me to another question: Am I just another ignorant, spoiled American?
Answer: Yes.
The first rule of packing for study abroad, I've been told, is to pack only what you will need. The rational, logical part of my brain, the 95%, says I do not need to bring seven pairs of shoes, ten books, three toothbrushes, or any amount of moisturizing/scented hair products. I have a limited amount of luggage and can buy toiletries when I get there. (I like to anthropomorphize this part of my brain as an awesome person who can kick butt but also cook really well).
The other little part of my brain, that 5%, is apparently the kind of American tourist that wears a fanny pack and a safari hat and cuts in front of other people in line at tourist traps. The kind who doesn't think it will be able to find good shampoo in a modern European country.
The logical 95% won out the shampoo battle, and as I walked through the parking lot to my car, I was faced with another dilemma: how do I kill the other 5%?
I've never been to Dublin before but I'm pretty sure fanny packs and line cutting are not going to fly.
I need to be a tourist without being a tourist.
So I made a list:
How to Be a Tourist Without Being a Tourist, In 3 Easy Steps:
1. Wait in line.
2. Buy Irish shampoo.
3. Do not, under any circumstances, wear a fanny pack.
By following this list, I can guarantee I will not be an ignorant, spoiled American tourist. Except for mispronouncing Irish words. And not knowing where anything is. And not knowing the exchange rate. And not knowing the metric system...
This is a foolish question. 95% of me says, "Yes, don't be a dumbass, of course they have decent shampoo in Dublin. Ireland is not a third-world country. You will not have to make your own soap out of pig fat and wildflowers. You will be amongst civilization."
But the other 5% was wondering if it would be able to find a shampoo that moisturizes and smells good, or if everybody just uses Irish Spring?
Which led me to another question: Am I just another ignorant, spoiled American?
Answer: Yes.
The first rule of packing for study abroad, I've been told, is to pack only what you will need. The rational, logical part of my brain, the 95%, says I do not need to bring seven pairs of shoes, ten books, three toothbrushes, or any amount of moisturizing/scented hair products. I have a limited amount of luggage and can buy toiletries when I get there. (I like to anthropomorphize this part of my brain as an awesome person who can kick butt but also cook really well).
The other little part of my brain, that 5%, is apparently the kind of American tourist that wears a fanny pack and a safari hat and cuts in front of other people in line at tourist traps. The kind who doesn't think it will be able to find good shampoo in a modern European country.
The logical 95% won out the shampoo battle, and as I walked through the parking lot to my car, I was faced with another dilemma: how do I kill the other 5%?
I've never been to Dublin before but I'm pretty sure fanny packs and line cutting are not going to fly.
I need to be a tourist without being a tourist.
So I made a list:
How to Be a Tourist Without Being a Tourist, In 3 Easy Steps:
1. Wait in line.
2. Buy Irish shampoo.
3. Do not, under any circumstances, wear a fanny pack.
By following this list, I can guarantee I will not be an ignorant, spoiled American tourist. Except for mispronouncing Irish words. And not knowing where anything is. And not knowing the exchange rate. And not knowing the metric system...
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